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favorite linksrecent blog postsVETERANSPosted November 11th, 2008 at 08:39pm
.......for all the VETERANS of past, present, and future.....i pray for you and thank you for your selfless service
one of many constant thoughtsPosted October 21st, 2008 at 09:05am
i find myself awake
your path to nothingnessPosted September 08th, 2008 at 10:20pm
"so many wannabes out there who will run into fear and coward when they realize they were chumps all along..."
"....what will happen to them when one by one, people around them realized the truth to their nature......"
"....what will happen when their world crumbles and they have no one to turn to....."
"....no where else to run...."
"....will they laugh then?"
"......count me out of the hatred and illusions that surround me.....i will not join you into your own last thread of happiness.....your world you know will fall and think back at what you have achieved throughout your life......"
"nothing" Situation-dictatesPosted September 01st, 2008 at 09:27pm
Why is it so hard for me to express what's honestly going through my heart and mind these days? Is it fear that's keeping me from doing so? It's something i keep asking myself since I've been back. There are so many things I want to share w/ my families and friends (non-military)..... so far, every time I try, it gets lost in the execution. Granted, some of my friends are awesome listeners. but when I look them in the eyes, I can see that they will never fully understand what's running through my heart and mind. I wanna open up and let the shield I've put up during my time over in Iraq down. But at the same time, I fear that it may alienate me more so. It's sad, as time passes, I'm getting better and better at masking the struggle within myself. Most of my families and friends are fooled by how i want them to view me. They don't see how deep inside, I wanna just let it all out, physically and emotionally... But as I continue my self-evaluation, I slowly realize once again that I'm not alone in my struggle. Most people today are hurting inside as well. The only difference is the reason and/or origin. I believe the current state of society doesn't help the matter as well....because we are so guilty of allowing society dictate how we live. And I'm not talking about the laws in which governs and maintain orders. It's the image the media has projected and burned into our mind everyday. We look for acceptance and guidance from a world that has lost touch with the importance of life. Yeah, there's been films and t.v. shows that plays into how messed up our society has become. But in the end, do we try to change for the better? Not just for the short term, but long term as well. And when we try to change for the better, are we changing for all the selfless reasons? I'm so guilty of allowing society dictate what success is and how in order to survive, I must not be afraid to step over people. I'm guilty of forgetting to focus on all the goods my families, friends, and other people in this world had done. I'm guilty of many other things....and i wanna change for the better, but the road to change can not be traversed alone. thank you 'JXOXO21', 'BeTTer-Day', and others for helping me realize we may not go through the exact experiences throughout life, but there are similarities in our struggle to understand how it may effect oneself. And as for bettering myself in selfless ways, I guess that struggle will be eternal. AND ONCE AGAIN, THESE ARE MY PERSONAL OPINIONS AND NOTHING MORE blind foolPosted August 06th, 2008 at 09:04pm how long have i wandered w/o knowing the truth of things. people who call you family or hang w/ you in your face but really do so if it benefits them in their own personal agenda. its sad and just fucking pathetic of myself for falling victim to such stupidity. i seriously need to reevaluate who and what is important in my life because those i thought i could depend on are nothing more than weasels. trust and respect is such a rarity these days. ...lost....Posted July 18th, 2008 at 12:32am ....lost in the vastness of the void w/in myself..... ....light of hope dimmed..... ....by a loose thread i hold...... ....hoping i find my wings and fly away.... (just penting off how i feel at times.....as you may know by now....i use the net to release from times to times) |
personal messageUPDATE: decided to give love another chance w/ my baby....it's funny how our mind can say one thing but our heart begs the differ. if i had the anwser or wisdom to everything, i might never love....so im glad i don't and rather trust in others as well
came back from iraq again (2nd trip)....free from waking up every morning dehydrated and cotton mouth from the never ending sand curse of middle east....free from having to be on alert 24/7.....free from having to approach people wondering if they have hostile intent......free from not having what we most take for granted................................... ................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................
"those who walk w/o purpose or faith walk in darkness"
IF I IGNORE YOU IM ON AA, ITS NOT BECAUSE I THINK IM BETTER THAN YOU AND REFUSE TO REPLY......MOST LIKELY ITS BECAUSE MY EYES DON'T CATCH THE LITTLE POP-UP MOST OF THE TIMES.................... TRY MY AIM OR MESSENGER SN: eastxdragon ..........tony here, i love long walks on the beach(the desert of iraq), i love meeting new ppls/faces(same dirty local-iraqi-lying-bastards), i enjoy a good workout(running from fuking RPGs w/ 50+ lbs of body armor) and i love iraq and its stress-free environment......... .....ok, that last one is a down right total lie(i tried, but its too damn hard 2 play that one off) hehe :) ........let see.....im never good when it comes to describing myself....im pretty shy initially, i trust too easily, i believe in second chances, im a half glass full kind of guy, i laugh more than i frown..... .....well, anything else, u'll have 2 ask....hehe................................................................................................ ..................................................................................................................................... .............................................................................oh yeah, i love 'family guy' cartoon series........................................... ..................................................................................... so here's a Random Family Guy Quote: Stewie: There's always been a lot of tension between Lois and me. And it's not so much that I want to kill her, it's just, I want her not to be alive anymore. I sometimes wonder if all women are this difficult. And then I think to myself, My God wouldnt it be marvelous if i turned out to be a homosexual?................................................. ..................................................................... ...................................................................... .................................................................... ..................................................................... ...................................................................... .....................................................................(my current thoughts as far as relationship goes at the moment) "those three words are said too much, then not enough......"-'chasing cars'(song): snow patrol............................................... ............................................................................. ............................................................................ ........................................................................ ....................................................................
YES, THATS RIGHT, I THREW THE RATE ME LINK ON MY PAGE(the day when iraq doesn't suck %#&@$! and causes me to do crazy things like this is the day i stop adding dumb things on my page...so for now, RATE ME IF YOU'RE BORED.....hehehe) comments from my friendsYou need to be friends with eastxdragon in order to leave them a Comment.In the meantime, you can always sign their guestbook. |