Male, Age Private, State College, PA
Having friends of the opposite sex is great and it makes you a while rounded person. You have to be laid back to handle it because you need to know what's really going on.Are certain friends using you to get to your other friends?I've had a group of friends for years that are guys and girls we have a real trust in each other. We protect each other with our lives. We are still very good friends today.The good thing about a guy having good girlfriends is that they will warn you about starting a bad relationship with a girl if she feels that she is no good.Same goes for girls having good guys that are friends.
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Male, 27, Conyers, GA
Personally I don't believe men and women can be friends , not best friends at least. Well they can if there is no attraction to each other what so ever. I have two bestfriends both being females. We have been friends for close to nine years. We have lasted this long , because we never showed any emotion towards each other , besides friendship. As a example after many years as best friends me and one of my friends end up making out and begin talking about serious relationship things. Needless to say that we it never happened , personality attributes about each other that never bothered us as friends now bothered us and we stop talking for about a year and a half. We finally spoke and discussed the situation and now are back friends , though there are still feelings and intentions between us , we decided it is something that can never happen and now ignore it like it never took place.
Female, Age Private, Midlothian, VA
This is a generalized statement and is not meant to offend anyone. But, I mostly have male friends I find that having guys as friends cuts down on the drama BS. Don't get me wrong I have female friends but the guys far out number the girls.
Female, 26, Killeen, TX
Most of my friends are male.I love it b/c it gives me insight as to how guys really feel about things; its almost like I'm a spy for my sex. I've always had a male best friend or at least a guy be a close friend. The only time I've had a problem is when they want to date a girl who is insecure about them having me as a close friend.
Female, 105, Huntington Beach, CA
My best friend is a guy and it's great. Having gy friends are ok as long as you have girl friends as well. I dont think it should complicate anything. As long as you remain only frends.
Female, Age Private, Evanston, IL
I don't have many male friends, and the ones I do have I met in elementary school! Even so, some of them slap me on the butt sometimes but I deal with it haha.I don't believe two people of the opposite sex can be very close and totally unromantic. Many of my girlfriends have many male friends, and it's pretty frustrating for me to hear them say they're just friends, but fret over what they're wearing and getting jealous when the guys spend time with other girls. Many of them also flirt a lot with their guy 'friends' and get into fights that I've only had with boyfriends. I've made some guy friends in the past few years, but they generally either started hitting on me or fell out of touch. I know many guys (who aren't gay) who I really enjoy and would love to spend time with, but my experience tells me it'll more likely be messy than not.
Female, Age Private, Katy, TX
you can be friends to anyone..but the imp thing is to keep ur broundry and know ur limit.....
Female, Age Private, Winnipeg, MB
My best friend is male and we have been friends since gr. 2 and are still lfriends today. My hubby when he first met my best friend not realizing he was guy and assume he was girl ah wrong girls can have guys as friends and be just friends for life. It is possible to have friends of the opposite sex and still be friends and keep in touch.
Male, 32, Dallas, TX
I'm a lot like the first guy. I've always had a lot of female friends, more so than male friends. And I am also a straight male. If both parties are honest and clear about their intentions, I friendship between a man and a woman can work. As long as it is based on shared interests , not romantic attraction.I can however see how a person pretending to be your friend with hopes of getting in your pants could end badly.
Male, 23, Meridian, ID
haven't read any of the other posts yet, but from my experiences, it doesn't seem to want to work out, ever.... I mean.. most of the time... its much more of a challenge in every relationship... i mean it may work out when you first start seeing one another... but then bridges start to build... and one beginnings to see something that they feel is to perfect, and question begins to be asked, and one becomes confused.I think it ultimately comes down to the fact that we as human beings are imperfect, and in turn we have all these insecurities, that we, ourselves, are afraid in asking the other, because of the possible outcomes. I think its the mix of having choices and learning to stand by our choices, and COMMUNICATION, that sometimes makes or breaks a relationship.I mean, looking at relationships, and asking ourselves, why we are with this person is the first step in even trying to figure out love in a relationship.Love is something that, i believe, we will never truly understand, just because when we are "in love" we see it from our eyes and not our opposites.In turn, we become insecure because we don't know what is going on in the others mind.Thats part of why I feel that having friends of the opposite gender are quite a challenge in a relationshipIt may start fine, and things may be as happy as all, but when word begin to be thrown, and actions questioned... its time for the DTR... [define the relationship] and afterward make a choice and stick by it... "if love is really love then love will find a way to work out..." i hear things likes this all the time... but you gotta ask yourself if your love is the same as your opposite.. and if you aren not sure... thats what the DTR is for....you may know your feelings, your wants, and your needs, but you will never know the your opposite's, so ASK... COMMUNICATE!its as simple as asking... "why do you love me?""what is love to you?"Emotions may be running high, and your words may be scrambled... but dont you want to find the person you love, and who loves you? one has to learn to understand and work with their emotions, rather then letting it run them.I mean if you are with an opposite, that lets there emotion run them all the time... you should really ask yourself, if you want to spend the rest of your life with some who runs on emotions... Its our choice weather the it controls us, or we who controls it. I mean its not all about having control, but learning to work with it... like a relationships... we have to learn to work with the other rather then controlling them... and so if a relationship that you are in are all ups and downs, one gotta ask ourselves if we want to live in a life of ups and downs.Relationships are easy... but its our human emotions that makes it hard... once we learn to take our emotions to the next step of communication.... simple things like having friends of the opposite gender, would not be even close to that of a road bump.I mean... after the talk and there is still a trust issue... you have to make a choice... and even in your love is as strong as you feel it is... i feel that it is trust that binds love... and lies that binds hate...love works both ways... and if the other doesnt feel the same.. we have to learn to let go.. whether our love can run for a lifetime.. we cannot bind ourselves to lies....so when we have friends of the opposite gender, we must COMMUNICATE, be UNDERSTANDING, TRUTHFUL, and if your opposite can not do that.... the success of the relationship could be that of a lie...okay! now I'm off to read other's opinions!
Male, Age Private, Surrey, BC
i have a couple close friends, and it works when no sex is involved.Tho, I may be over-analyzing myself by admitting certain aspects of my personality have typically schizoid behavior i.e. love of nature and books, solitude, a tendency to return to my favourite topics and stick to them to the annoyance of friends...Nothing psychotic mind you, though the majority of psychoses is benign and non-violent. The root word, psyche, means mind. So psychosis actually means, living in the mind's world; rather than the real world.Thus, even a fantasy, if prefered over truth; can be a form of psychosis. Even believing that Bush is bad for America could be considered a psychosis if you have a good conspiracy theory that shows signs of a definite delusive disorder!Having said that, I will point out that unconditional love works best without the distraction of desire and passion. Compassion is just a transpersonal form of passion with sexual overtones so subtle show more.
So should it be for platonic friendships with the opposite sex, in the style of Will and Grace, a romantic friendship between people of the opposite who would never sleep with each other.
That is true love.
Romantic love that leads to children and marriage is still human love, due to the drama that unfolds because of the deisre and passion shared.
Romantic friendship that is unconsummated is the purest form of love.
And it is approved by most religions.show less
wow! well said! haha could have said it any better my self! had alot of big words in there got me slightly confused.. but after reading it it makes sense! Good post! most definitely something i will keep in mind
Male, 42, Atlanta, GA
Generally speaking, there are of course exceptions, the answer is NO, due to the unpredictable expectations of both parties, and worse yet, the ensuing jealousy of the significant other.Imagine if your best friend had a boyfriend, but she turns to you when she wants to talk - how is he going to feel? Definitely threatened. And vice versa, as your girlfriend would not like it if you are divulging your deepest feelings to another female and not her.Most of my friends are indeed females, and ultimately, it is disastrous because of the these issues. It is more than just the two of you, and that's already complicated.
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