I WOULD DO ANYTHING TO BRING BACK MY BEAUTIFUL PAST :) anything. lol hmm i like this site its better than myspace and hmm just here to chit chat with people :--) I have dedicated this page to my only dead (but he lives and breaths in my heart forever till my heart stops pumping any blood) best friend ANDREW YEN WON he was my only best friend someone that was more than a brother but actually a part of my life he died JANUARY 10th 2007 my brother was driving a toyota celica GTS 6-speed manual twin turbos the car lost control and spun out and he was not wearing a seat belt and died right in the car till this day i cant forgive myself why could i not have stopped them? why could i have not been in that car instead of andrew? why?. I am from an arabic father thats very racist against all other races and dating was never an option, my first gf was asian when i was a little kid and i bought her to my house which ended up making a huge scene and drama. Ive known Andrew since i was a kid, so when ever i had a gf i would take her to him and see if he approved or rather liked her and if he didnt i would pretty much just stop dating the girl. I joined the marines as a little kid age 17 i have a 6 year contract im scheduled to go back to iraq again march 2008, i dont really know if im going to come back alive. I had a huge car accident where my car flipped over into the incoming lane 80 MPH and without a seat belt i smashed through the wind shield, that time i was dying in the hospital and my parents and Andrew were there for me, at that time i was a very violent guy but he taught me that love, appreciation is the purpose of life. Today till this day i go to the lake where me and andrew used to sit and talk. Every night i stare at the water in the lake any where from 1 minute to several hours. Ive had countless ex gfs now a days i have a new gf every weekend and i love chatting or creating drama on aa guess it clears up some mental space. I might hate or dislike my ex gfs but sometimes when i sit alone i just wonder do they ever think of me ? any more. I promised to leave them all alone. Today i might still be a bad person but i have learnt to appreciate life and beauty ive always feared i dont know losing the people i loved.In the marines i have learnt one thing thats very important. "FEAR IS A CHOISE" you can choose to be scared or choose to hold your composure. I have only shared these thoughts with my dearest friends but i want you to imagine yourself sitting by a lake you can see the darkness shedding by you can feel the moon light shedding on the water, as you breat in the air you can smell the fresh air, nature has become a part of you, as you sit in the darkness with the ONE PERSON you truely love and care about, you can feel the breeze swiftly passing by as you close your eyes you hug that one person and you have the thoughts of having a family and being together and never letting each other go even if death takes your soul and conquers your mind. you hold that one person and you kiss them by the lips that pure feeling which evades all evil in the world is the purpose of life and if you even die it does not matter because the purpose of life that true feeling of love has already been accomplished. I know people think that these words would not be coming from a person like me but hmm sometimes i do have these feelings.
