freakenbeliever

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Brief Synopsis:
Name: Pa Lee
Age: 20
Ethnicity: Hmong
Religion: Lutheran Christianiaty
Location: Wisconsin
Loves to: DANCE!
Status: I really need me time!
Enjoys: Meeting new people

I think if someone really wants to understand me, they have to completely accept me for who i am, good and bad, the weak and the strong, for what's there and what's not. And that's hard to find.

Leave me a message, press record by phone to do so, or just press play to hear me say my into...enjoy


Sorry i deleted my messages again...please leave me another one!

My mom says 'i act like a little kid',
my friends say 'im too nice',
other people say 'i think too much' ahaha
and i think im weird ahaha

I hope you guys all got a better sense of me :P

Many have told me i look mad in this picture, im just looking at the trees and bushes ahead...hehehe
To be honest i cant single myself out to one term as to what i want to be or accomplish in this world. All i know is that i want to help people, make a difference and get the world to care. Im pretty social so i know all types of different kinds of people and sometimes it gets to me how people can be as cruel as they are. I think arent we the same, dont we think the same, bleed the same way, then why is there such a big difference.

Im pretty open minded, i accept everyone that i can, some people say im too nice or im too trusting of as a friend. But i guess ive learned to live with that if others want to use me or take me for granted ive learned to just roll with the punches, without fighting back. I guess the only people i dislike are people who dont respect but ive grown to just let it go even though it can really get to me at times. Some people say im weak or too emotional, i just say im not emotional, im just emotionally driven, i dont know what i can really call whats right or wrong to do in this world anymore, so i decided to just based my actions on how i feel and my morals, even though i feel like my morals were instilled on me since birth, and taught by the media and the world around me, i still just solely rest it on how i feel in the end.

Just Some Webcam Moments
(I didnt feel like uploading these into my account so i just took their urls and reposted them...i was bored and just took pictures....)

Sunday, September 23, 2007:
sighs its been forever since ive updated i just wanted to add this entry to let everyone know im still living hehe joking, sighs looking around asianave i see so many pretty faces, this is such a great site, so at ease and such a variety of people, well ive been busy, been living life with 3 jobs, its been tough, tiring but idk i think i do it to myself, i think i might quit one job, because its just too much for me but i really need the money, i'll talk to God about it, just to get some reassurance. Take care everyone, God bless!

Tuesday, May 2, 2007:

OMY GOSH IM MEMBER OF THE DAY FOR MAY 2!

ahaha i didnt even realize i was told i was MOTD for may 1st to but i guess only for the evening to the next day heheh, i was checking my email and im like hmm why are soo many people adding me as friends, so i felt bad for keeping them waiting so i logged on and went straight to my invites to save everyone, i was like aw these people are so nice, and then to my notes and people started saying Congrats on being MOTD...ahaha wtheck i didnt even know. I replied to a few people and then went to go see if i was still MOTD and i was! ahaha i was happy that i could see it because i was a day late to know it. This is the only thing i dont like about having motd ahaha what if i havent logged in all week ahaha i prob would of missed it. What a shame. Even though not a lot of people are on the site now, its still an honor. And i feel blessed. But theres still so much i have to say to the world...ahaha sounds corny but its true hehe i wished i had more on my site for people to take in.

On the other hand: I bought a new blowdryer that would let me keep my curls in. Since i have naturally curly or wavy hair. Its pretty cool i havent ultimately tried it out yet but i used it today. It was fun hehehe it has all these plugs and filters hehe i felt like a kid putting it together. I also decided to donate some money to factfinding.org...check it out if you have time! Its a site on helping out the Hmong people in the jungle, we donate money to help factfinding continue its support and the site and to help feed the hmong people there and keep them warm. Unfortunately i dont know if its enough to keep them alive since they are daily being hunted down by the Laotian Army. Please help and donate too!

Wednesday, April 25, 2007: Believe it or not, while working at the store by myself, i got robbed. I didnt want to post this up on my personal website or my bloggin site because i didnt want too much attention out, all i know is i need to get it out. And i have a feeling not a lot of people will read my daily thoughts, not just yet ahaha. Sometimes it still doesnt feel like it happened, it hasnt sink in yet. It was scary but it was unbelievable, it replays in my head all over again, i think of things i could of done and but the cops told me i did really good, we had a camera, i got his liscense plate number, and i got a good look at him, and luckily he didnt have a weapon. But i keep thinking maybe i should of done this, or why did i do that. I shouldnt have dont that. I was perfect after the situation. I called 911 first, i locked the door, got his liscense and then called my family. A part of me wonders why im not more scared and than it makes me scared about one day i might have a breakdown or something. Or how much will this really affect me now. What if next time im not so lucky, or what if i try too much or too hard next time and get myself hurt. To be honest i thought it was a joke at first, i was like this cant really be happening. Luckily it was all pretty easy to take in, he didnt have a weapon and he took the money when i wasnt present. So it had less of a guilt thing on me. There wasnt much i could do. He asked for something and i went to go show him where it was, i noticed he didnt follow me and when i grabbed it i also heard some noise and ran back and he had taken some money and ran off. I cant believe he even had the nerve to say something to me while he left. At times like these im glad im jaded to know that stuff like this would happen so i prepare myself for it mentally, but it times like this i wish i knew martial arts or something. I think he was an ameateur because as soon as he saw me he could of easily grabbed for more but didnt and just ran off, he didnt even try to attack me or anything. And he didnt know how to open the register, he just shook it and got the latch open, now we are getting new stuff and new security. I hope this works.

Friday - April, 20, 2007: Excuse me if you disagree with me, but i can honest say i dont blame Cho Seung Hui for shooting that school. I dont approve of his actions but i dont blame him. Many people say he did it because he was a loner and was depressed but i wish more people would realize that you arent born that way, you arent born into a psycho, the world makes you that way. I hope people and more schools take into consideration how people treat others and how much it can really hurt someone emotionally, mentally and even physically. This really bothers me when people want to put the blame on him because it wasnt his fault, people know that if they have an escape they would take it, he felt like he didnt and this was the only way, if you really want to escape why not get revenge while doing it, i guess thats what he was thinking, but i cant completely confirm that since im not him. But when i look at him i dont see a psycho manic, i dont see a murderor, i see a boy who was young at heart but poison by the world. I dont agree with him to the extent he mention on God dealing him bad cards, but yes God brought him into this situation in a lighter view. My blessings goes out to everyone who was hurt by this tragedy.

This is what im looking forward to...

Dance for the Love...not for the fame
I truly love dancing...i love how it feels...i love how it looks...i love how it can make people smile... EVERYTHING...i do admit i hardly ever compete...not a bad thing if people do but i alwaus just felt like dancing on my own with my friends or with my youth dance teams was enough for me...there were times when i wanted to but just not enough to actually do it. One of the reasons i didnt wanna compete probably was because i didnt wanna be judged for dancing...i always felt like it took away my essence. I always just wanted to dance for the heck of it...and at the end of the day if i got to dance thats all that really mattered to me, little did i know that soo many people liked my dancing. I used to love going to school dances and battling. It was the biggest high of my night...i never went to a school dance without being in or having at least one battle that night. I guess i loved the buzz of being altogether with my friends for one purpose: dancing. I never really needed anyone to know my name or to win a competition i just wanted to have fun with everyone, hopefully all the people ive beated or gone against loved that too...not the fame that we got from our battles but how much people smile and loved it. It was like everyone was there to celebrate with us...breathe and live with us. Of course i dont ever wanna be called a has been but a part of me knows that i am. Ive retired from dancing for a while but it always lives with me and im ok with it. i just hope i dont get too old before i start dancing again. I guess now a days a lot of people want to dance for the fame, they look at it as an easy access to get approval or acceptance but what those kind of people should know is that you cant really come a dancer until you accepted your status, dont ever think you need someones approval to believe youre a good dancer, thats not what dancing is about, but dont brag about how youre better than someone else either...thats also not what dancing is about, dancing is about passion and the feeling, if you dont have that then maybe thats when you should care about other peoples view because it will show, you dont have to love it...but like it enough, dont fake it for the fame. Dont let others define who you are...as in whether your a good or bad dancer...if you love to do it and it shows, no one is gonna want to stop you from dancing no matter how bad or good your skills are. If you do it only for the fame, then in the long run what you have may not be enough...if you do something you dont love, you wont be able to continue no more...your heart wont let you...its gonna look for its love. I guess when i decided to take a break form dancing i never knew that i would want to dance again so badly, i guess thats how you know you love something, no matter what you do or where you are...its always with you, no matter what pain you go through or how hard life is, its understanding and waiting for the chance to live. Even when my body could no longer dance...that didnt stop my heart for loving it. I remember in the 9th grade days before a school performance, i had overstretch one of my leg muscles and gotten a herniated disc, my body ached from the pain but my heart still didnt wanna stop it was understanding but when i did have to perform everything came together, it was as if the pain was never even there, i guess my love of dancing was strong enough to overcome the pain i was in, or maybe dancing was what healed my pain. Dancing is a great passion when its stronger than anything, any pain you may go through, any high you may get, even more than any fame you may discover.

Ahhh....look what i found

This is an old jacket that we got as a gift when the Academy of Baton and Dance sponsored my AFG dance group

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