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A hippie gets onto a bus and sits next to a nun in the front seat. The hippie looks over and asks the nun if she would have sex with him. The nun, surprised by the question, politely declines and gets off at the next stop. When the bus starts again, the bus driver says to the hippie, "If you want, I can tell you how you can get that nun to have sex with you." The hippie of course says that he'd love to know, so the bus driver tells him that every Tuesday evening at midnight the nun goes to the cemetery to pray to the lord. "If you went dressed in robes and some glowing powder," says the bus driver, "You could tell her you were God and command her to have sex with you." The hippie decides to try this out. That Tuesday, he goes to the cemetery and waits for the nun. Right on schedule, the nun shows up. While she's in the middle of praying, the hippie walks out from hiding, in robes and glowing with a mask of god. "I am God, I have heard your prayers and I will answer them but you must have sex with me first," he says. The nun agrees but asks for anal sex so she might keep her virginity. The hippie agrees to this and quickly sets about having sex with the nun. After the hippie finishes, he rips off his mask and shouts out, "Ha ha, I'm the hippie! " The nun replies by whipping off her mask and shouting, "Ha ha, I'm the bus driver!"

Why Is Sex Like Riding A Bike?------------------------------------------------------------ 1. You have to keep pumping if you want to get anywhere. 2. It's best to wear protective head-gear when going into unfamiliar territory. 3. You can do it with no hands, but it's best not to try it until you have a lot of experience. 4. It's easier to learn with the help of someone who has a lot of experience. 5. You can do it by yourself, but it's usually not as much fun. 6. It's usually hard to control your speed the first few times you try. 7. It's best to have a soft place to land. 8. You don't need any special clothing, but you can get some if you are really into it. 9. If you're with someone who is having trouble keeping up, it's usually best to slow down and wait for them. 10. Most people think it looks easy until they try it for the first time. 11. Once you learn, you never forget how. 12. If you fall off get right back on. 13. If you get a flat, try pumping it back up. 14. Remember to signal before you change direction. 15. Make sure that you've got a firm grip. 16. Sometimes it's nice to have a cushy seat. 17. Once you're over the top, you can just coast the rest of the way. 18. That's why some of them are called Mountin' Bikes.