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What the history books do not tell us, is that Colombus had a 5th undisovered excursion to the "New World, " to set up the world's first resort-casino-chicken&ribs joint; so he can retire under a palm tree and drink rum; while endenturing native Taino and perhaps Boricua indians to fan his pale European arse when hot

Yes folks, Krys, know as, "La Gata Enojada" was his best navigator and I her faithful understudy. Needless to say, we never made it to the Americas, due to "technical difficulties" with the gyrocompass. This embarrassed Colombus and is perhaps why it never made it into written history.

By the way...If you see a marrooned, centuries old, Spanish galleon in the double landlocked country, now known as the modern day Uzbekistan; don't ask....we don't know how it got there either.



Moral: I still have no idea

Remember Rosa, the woman that sold empanadas and thrashes rogue skateboarders next to the train? Well, she was caught on an elevator security camera, thrashing a would-be-mugger. who knew?!

after winning the Nobel Prize in cartoon physics in 1998, Krys desided to take an extended brake from all her hard work. Yes, this intrepid young lady desided to go off into polyponesian, macronesian, and micronesian islands of the Pacific, for some well deserved R&R. despite Krys enjoying the simple pleasures of a lazy day under the sun feeling nice tropical breezes, emercing herself in the different cultures, and having a 3 month winning streak of drinking salty sailor dogs under the table; there was something missing... At first it was just a passing thought but now it was a splinter in her mind everytime she went to the restroom, when natured called... Toilet paper! Oh yes there was paper, but not the T.P. that we mainlanders where used to... this was a paper that rivaled grade 3 sand paper.


Outraged by this flaw in paradise, she acted. Krys used the Nobel prize money she had for her work and went to Guam to open up a humble yet industrious little factory and invited the formost experts in toilet paper technology to help her create the ultimate form of TP.... within 3 years she has cornered the toilet paper market in all the islands of the South Pacific, but then she vanished to more challenges and touch other people's lives.


So if you are ever in any of the southwest pacific archipelagos do not be surprised to see the label of "Soft Guam" toliet paper products next to your bowl; or see statues of Krys' beautiful likeness, holding a roll up into the air, erected in her honor in many town squares.



Moral: I have no Idea