Pook's Blog

Life is never good for me and this is what I wish you'd see. Just let me end it all for I'll be happy in the end, I'll finally be free. Free from all the pain and torment and the never ending battle. No more dealing with the arguments and tears, I'd finally be through with it all. You just don't seem to understand that by keeping me here your making it worse. If I were dead and gone by now I'd be happy, I wouldn't have this life, I wouldn't have the curse. I'm already considering doing this even without your consent. I know for sure that once its all over with my heart will finally be content. So here I am just sitting there, on my bed with a knife to my wrist. Please everyone don't be upset, please don't be pissed. You just need to know I love you all but couldn't handle it anymore. Ok here I go, I'm doing this for sure. You just need to let me go to heaven now, hopefully God will understand and accept this. Just tell my baby I love him and I'm sorry I couldn't give him one last kiss. Tell everyone I love them and that I'm sorry I had to go so soon and leave them all behind. But I just needed to end it all and start a new life so happiness I could find. These are the last words I'll ever be writing down. I know they are harsh but don't worry, rest your head, be at ease, don't make a sound. Know that I love you and always have but I need to think of me right now and so I said goodbye. Be happy without me and know that I'm somewhere good, somewhere up high. I just hope your not crying, I want you to know everything will be ok. I'll be watching over you and listening to what you have to say. Just have patience, wait till the day, and I'll see you up here in heaven and we can be together. Except this time things will be better and you'll see me happy, always and forever. So stop your weeping and know this was the best thing for me It was my time to go, your time to set me free.

What we thought was love and happiness? Is now gone all that's left is to move on. Say goodbye and walk away. Take your wounded pride put it aside. The game of love you have lost. Your broken heart is the cost. Count your blessings and pray. maybe You will win at the game of love one day. Just learn when to walk away. Your strong enough to say good bye. Don't hold back it's okay to cry love hurts sometimes

I dare you to look in my eyes
Tell what you see inside
Spoken from your heart
Without falling apart
I dare you to hold my hand
And try to understand
Why I feel the way I do
Why I honestly love you
I dare you to tell the world
That I'm your favorite girl
The one who's always by your side
Even through the roughest ride
I dare you to do it with pride
Having nothing to hide
Prove to them who you really are
Let them know I'm your shiny star
I dare you to love me
With a future to see
Open unto me your heart
And let love play its part
I dare you to be a man
One who'll always understand
That my love is always a beat away
Never to far will I ever stray.
I dare you to say I love you
Meaning ever word with truth
With a smile upon your face
As you put me in my own place.
I dare you to give me respect
Without all the lonely rejects
Wash away my frowns
That makes me look like a clown
For the time I'm with you
I'm always true
Prove to me that you can to
This I dare you.

Children who die are not really gone,
But go to a place that is something like home,
Where they sleep the deep sleep, as quiet as stone,
Until we can join them when our lives are done.

Children who die are not really dead,
But just like good children tucked into bed,
Wait the long wait while we go ahead
Till our tales are all told and our tears are all shed.
Children who die feel no pleasure or pain
In the place where they wait till they see us again,
And all of us dance in a world washed with rain
Where the sun shines so brightly no sorrows remain

Today I told my friends that it's all over now.
They applauded me and I took a bow.
But they don't know the things that I know,
I didn't mention how tonight I'll watch your blood flow.
"Till death do us part" is what we both said.
I want to keep my promise, so tonight I'll see you dead.
I stand at my mirror dressed in all black.
Tonight courage is something that I don't lack.
I get into the car and head towards your street,
I smile because I can't wait to give you your treat.
I pull up to your house and get out of the car,
And still lit, I put down the devil's cigar.
I walk up to the steps and to the front door.
Your mom greets me, not knowing this won't happen anymore.
"I just wanted to hang out for a sec." I say.
She says "ok" not knowing today will be his last day.
With my head held high, I walk down the hall.
I feel no fear in my hands at all.
I stand in your doorway, feeling pure bliss.
I can't believe I'm going to go through with this.
This worked out so perfect that it is something I can't ignore.
You already had a drink on your desk from before.
You turned your head, and I poured it all in.
I sat and talked until I was sure I would win.
You put the cup to your lips and took a drink.
Watching that moment, I couldn't even blink.
I stood up and said I had to go because I had many things to do.
I shut the door and whispered, "I loved you".
I reached the top of the stairs when I heard you fall.
And to your mother I said "Your son is not feeling well at all".
I told her that you already went to bed.
So instead of seeing you're lifeless body, she watched TV instead.
I went back to my car and sat in my seat.
I was happy to know that my job was complete.
I sat there and thought of how you made me go this far.
Now all I could do is sit here and smoke the devil's cigar.

My grandmother always said your body is a temple.
Don't leave the santuary door swinging open.
My mom always told me
my eyes are the windows to my soul.

Well, my santuary is not open now, and my eyes are open but closed.
My friends,
my true friends always told me
Don't like him anymore, you can do better.
Just so you know
I threw that love away like an old sweater.

My family, my friends I have been hurt.
I've opened one door
now there is a lesson learned.

The door I've unlocked, I used the key
from my heart.
He tore the door open, breaking my heart apart.

He took all my feelings...
the love,
the pain,
forever I think of him.
It drives me insane.

I'm young, now I know
Therefore, I will grow.

For now all my doors will be shut
no one will be allowed in
until my love inside for him,
breaks the barrier within.