taitaj's Blog

Ok, first, I have to get some things off my chest about race:

1. When people say they are colorblind what does that mean??? We all have some color or other and ignoring it is quite silly. Making arbitrary distinctions based on color is wrong, acknowledging color is not

2. I am amused by the absurd rationale which my 'closet racist' acquaintances use when explaining their disapproval of interracial marriages. The good old explanation, "marriage is hard enough without adding race into it." How idiotic is this claim? Emm, yes, having children also puts pressure on marriages so why bother having them??? Forgo adding something beautiful to your life because it might create some added responsibility? How simple minded! The entire 'marriage is hard enough' *boo hoo* claim is So racist, it's downright amusing.

3. Lastly (for now) LOL, the "Some of my best friends are black" statement defense. "KLAN MEMBER ALERT" :0 is what I think whenever someone says that to me!! So what if your friends are black? Most of my best friends are white so why is that worth mentioning?? Anyone who bothers to make this type of asinine remark is silently screaming, "I hate Black People"

Now that I got that off my chest back to the topic

People who openly stare with disapproval at interracial couples are FOOLS. In 'Dictionary.com' a fool is defined as "A SILLY OR STUPID PERSON; A PERSON WHO LACKS JUDGEMENT OR SENSE." So anyone who chooses to involve themselves by staring in an unthinking and hostile way, at something which is none of their friggin' business is a FOOL.

Hmmm, it is also an affront so I do not think ignoring them is necessarily the best response. Here's why: staring is rude and staring with disapproval at people for no reason other than that the couple is an interracial (BW/AM) pair, is rude, stupid and hostile. So why play dead when you have been backed into a corner? You have to do something .

Sometimes the 'hostility' is so unthinking (even cruel) that it invades your personal space. How annoying!!

Interracial couples might need a badge like this which should read "WE ARE AN INTERRACIAL COUPLE YOU FOOL, AND IT IS RUDE TO STARE!"

Since someone has elected to invade your personal space by staring glaring at you and your mate, you have a few options:

A. If it is a benign "Oh what a cute dog" kinda look stare back with a tolerant look which says, "I am not a dog, so please look away" then smile :)

B. If it is a rude stare which says, "My name is Bubba aka the self appointed human race bookmark, and altho it's none of my business that you are with Mr. Whiteman however, because of my own pathetic insecurities, added to which I lack a meaningful life and have nothing intelligent occupying my gray matter other than hate and confusion, I will give you a long dirty stare." Or, if they give you the look of "I strongly disapprove of IR's because I am a proud trashy racist/ignorant fool in a suit'; your response should be -to stare back, long and hard. HAHA.. Look at the funny side, these are silly people who think it is ok to stare that way. How amusing! :)

C. *Sigh* If it is a rude remark. Ignore it!! Anyone who goes the trouble of being so confrontational is not worth your time. It shows that person could engage you in a physical tussle, so why bother? Also, why try to divest him of his "Buffoon of the Year" award. LOL

Hmmm, on the other hand, if a couple allows the stares and snide remarks of a few miserable fools to impact their relationship, then maybe they have no business getting or staying married?

Anyhoo, let me end my fiery write up by advising all IR couples,

• If someone stares at you in a rude way, please stare right back.
• If they make a rude comment, ignore them.

Also, to respond to an article I read recently about an IR couple who fear for their lives because of threats and so on - Tracy, if people who disapprove of your relationship come to your home (uninvited), armed with weapons, threaten your life, try to harm you, burn a cross on your yard and threaten your family- please, do not waste time blogging to seek advise .Just do ALL you have to do to prevent deadly force from being used against you! Responding with deadly force when faced with deadly force is perfectly legal :) Or better still, move to somewhere else with less bigots. There are good people- both black and white- out there who will welcome you into their neighborhoods.

To end this fiesty piece again :) let me repeat for the one billioneth time, if someone stares at you just because you are with the love of your life (who just happens to be white), STARE RIGHT BACK, STARE BACK FOR A LONNNNG TIME AND STARE JUST AS RUDELY, OR WAY MORE RUDELY THAN THEY DID!

Remember tho, only fools stare at IR couples, so its ok to find them amusing .

Toddles :)

1. If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.

2. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.

3. Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that's not meant to be.

4. Slower is better.

5. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.

6. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend. Don't settle.

7. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is. Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.

8. The only person you can control in a relationship is you.

9. Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, Why would he treat you any differently?

10. Always have your own set of friends separate from his.

11. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up.

12. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.

13. You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.

14. Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.

15. Never let a man define who you are.

16. Never borrow someone else's man. Oh Lord!? If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.

17. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.

18. All men are NOT dogs.

19. You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two-way street.

20. You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship

21. You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.

22. Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr.. Right.

23. Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and your always readily available to him- he takes it for granted.

24. Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

Share this with other ladies..... You'll make someone SMILE, another RETHINK her choices, and another woman PREPARE.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them and an entire lifetime to forget them.