jenny71887's Blog

from nearly 3 years back- Following my arrival back to Los Angeles, California last Sunday,my week consisted of frequent phone calls from old and new friends, restless nights, occasional awakenings at odd times of the day, satisfying my library indulgences, constant napping and what not. By the way, I know I'm weird. I'll save you from calling me that. I finally went back-to-school shopping with Billy and we bought a wide range of supplies as I became worried that I would have to make supply runs to Staples/Office Depot/Office Max once I get to Irvine. Afterwards, I went household supply shopping and got some cleaners. Following the busy day of shopping, we came home and washed the car and then went jogging in the park. Despite how the day was much normal, I came to a realization that I can no longer spend these days with my little brother. Questions I thought of ran through my mind: Who will be my carwash buddy? Who is going to tag along with me when I need supplies? Who am I going to play tennis and jog with? Who is going to discipline me? Who will I go to when I have trouble? I realized all these questions tied down to one person: my little brother; ironically the only brother who treats me like his little sister. I then worried about how our close relationship will change once I move out. Will we forget our favorite pasttimes? Will he ever visit me? Sure, I won't be home 5 out of the 7 days I'm home, but I hope that someone takes care of me as much as he has. With less than two weeks remaining of summer, the summer days are definitely over for my brothers. I have long awaited for college to roll on by and it's finally time! Though I still have yet to finish packing, I'm terribly emotional when it comes to everything that I'll have to miss at home. I never discovered how family can mean so much to my life, and it's a shock how I'll have to leave most of my life behind once I get to Irvine. In other news: * I'm finally getting a plan for my cell phone. Cingular! :) I promised my mom no more late night calls with friends and to seal the deal, no boyfriends. Haha. * I'm almost done unpacking from China. * I found my name chain that I got in Guilin, China! * Disneyland on the 8th! :) * I found out my housing assignment! Ask me for the address please. I'm not very open to surprise visitors. :)

Remember when you used to grab onto your mom or your dad's hand once you walked across the street? Whether this grasp was tight or relaxed, just holding your parent's hand made you feel safe and loved. I know this is awkward and out of the norm to say, but I miss holding my mom's hand. And no, it's not because I need to feel safe or loved. I remember myself as the teenage rebel. The one that yelled all day out of anger. The one that would commit to doing stupid things while being angry (e.g. walking into doors and making a fool out of myself) and still managed to be forgiven. I never saw myself as someone who would "kiss and make up". Seeking physical "signs of affection" from my parents just seemed highly unlikely with my stubbornness. Hugs and kisses are generally not given in the Asian household, and not to generalize, this happens in my family. So yesterday, I held my mom's hand after celebrating my pre-19th birthday dinner. It was strange at first. I was usually the one who would look up at her as kid, and now, I tower over her. My brothers commented how it was weird seeing that happen again, and frankly, all I cared was being close to her again.