Rufio86's Blog

One day I will.... ....

learn how to swim ......
earn how to drive in the city.... ......
become certified in First Aid and volunteer ....
bungee jump...and then go sky diving right afterwards..... ...
go to the Grand Canyon .....
 ......save a life..........
.. ....watch a sunrise with the one I love... .
..get a black belt in Jiujitsu, Kyokushin....
....fight in a Amatuer MMA league....
...kiss my wife every morning ... .
...bury my parents...... .
.....have 2 cats and 2 dogs....
....lose my virginity to the one I will spend the rest of my life with.... .
....look my son in the eyes and tell him I'm proud of him......and never let him doubt it....
 ....kiss in the rain........
.....see Jesus face to face.....and ask Him many questions.....
...come face to face with a polar bear and feed it a fish...
.......watch my friends get married...... ..
........chase a tornado.....be chased by a tornado....
.....stop breathing and pass on to eternity......
........watch a meteor shower happen before my eyes..... .
...learn how to take those artsy photographs....
. ....watch my first love....kiss someone else, marry someone else
...adopt a girl and a boy.........
......protect my daughter and always make her remember that she is worth more than all the treasures in the world.... .
......bring flowers to my wife everyday when i come home.....
....go on dates with my wife when we're old and wrinkly and make her fall in love with me all over again.... .
.......teach my son to respect his elders, open the door for everyone always treat those who are serving him with the utmost respect and sincerity..... .
...have a small coffeeshop/bookstore...with a Big Brother/Big Sister program..... and open mic night's for teens and college kids.... ..
...smile genuinely......
....love her with every fiber of my soul and being......
Maybe one day....

But not today. .

Time. It's all an illusion. there are so many carefree souls scouring the surface, never realizing the futility of it all, the fuitility of life. Common sense intelligence was never a big thing for humans. Stiff necks that they were, Running around their circuit malls, drinking their $2.50 cup of sophiscality, soaking in the essence of conformity. They're all headless chickens, prancing around, pecking at non existant corn, seeking a ounce of worth in this place called Earth.

Dreams are long forgotten, a mere fragment of imagination that lingers in the minds of the mentally challenged, lost in the waves of literature and mythology. Dreams, Nightmares, Fantasies. All gone, lost, beyond the grasp of human souls. There's no Polo for your Marco cry. No one hears anything but their own voices They're all fishes out of the water.

the irony of it all. running around cities searching for purpose like albino mice in a maze of neverending expectatitions and self serving goals. working night shifts, day shifts. and midnight caps locks key. where do the days go. we occupy our minds with the basic laws of survival and move on with our lives. satisfying our wants and taking granted all the needs that they have been given, never counting the endless blessings that they dont deserve. they are self serving, self seeking, bags of mobile flesh. we indulge in the darkness instead of the light. nocturnal creatures. morally destructive vampires. humans without purpose. sad.

Each springs marks the beginning of new things. new faces. new friends. new tastes. new styles. Alongside beginnings, death also shows its face during this season. Dead relationships, dead burdens, dead problems, dead music, dead spaces. dead places.

Today was a death day for me. But tomorrow i shall dine in the sweet fragrance of a new beginning. Tonight we shall waltz in the music of this "funeral of memories". Tonight the symphony plays a tragic song, a lovely ballad for unspoken words, a crescendo of passionate emotions that clashes roughly into the dark, disappearing into a thin vapor. I drink you in the deep, the words fall off my tongue like honey on my lips, the sweet nothings i whisper are spoken in vain.

Tonight we dine in darkness, no candlelight, no beauty. I breathe in, soak in the ugliness of the situation as the relentless gnashing realm of reality crashes through the room of hope. The glass shatters everywhere as all the dreams fall into pieces. No last resort. no place to run. No fire escape. Welcome all to the point of no return. I turn towards the broken window, the walls crumbled piece by piece into the ravishing waves that are crashing underneath my feet. I close my eyes as i walk off this ledge, walk out of this chapter, close this book. And Sleep.

Tomorrow, I shall dine in the sweet fragrance of a new beginning.

But tonight we shall mourn of the death of my heart.