There are no short cuts for mending a broken heart. No "bestselling" self-help book can patch up the large hole after a few hundred plus pages. No family member, no friend, and (realistically) not even the person who caused the pain can speed up the healing process. Sometimes, it seem as though time actually causes more pain than it heals.
...
Today marks a year; a year of pain-ridden tears, broken promises, and my shattered heart. I will not place my pride on a pedestal and lie. I will admit to myself as well as to everyone reading this entry, my heart has not mended.
I still feel the same pain I felt this same day a year ago, and in all honestly I think the pain has only grown more unbearable. I understand completely that I cannot turn back the hands of time and even if I could, I would not want too. I wouldn't know what to change or what to leave the same. I didn't know then, so what makes me so sure I would know now?
I still do hold on to the yesterdays of him and me as an US and the plans we had made for the tomorrows. I believe it is the tomorrows I envisioned that haunts me the most. They are the unobtainable dreams I want to be real and also the reason behind countless tears and silent screams that has filled my room plenty nights.
I'm not sure how it started or even why it started but when I saw him, I knew I was going to love him more than I have ever loved or was ever going to love anyone else.
Love comes when it is ready. It has no face, no scent, no voice, no body, but you will feel it; and I still feel it even with all this pain.
