KoreanPearLz's Blog

For every day I am grateful that I exist.  I know I'm here for some purpose that God has a plan for.  If there wasn't, I'd be long dead.  I truly believe that I am protected by the love of the people that are around me and the prayers of those who keep me in mind.  However, I also know that no matter how much others pray for you, you have to ask for help yourself.  You have to be the one to reach out and ask for what you want.  Im not sure why Im blogging now, when I had the sudden urge to blog about something totally random a couple days earlier. 

My topic today is so blah compared to a specific topic or interesting event. 

I guess I just want to share my emotions and perspective on what it means to be True, Genuine, Real to me. 

To be True...  What is truth?  It is whatever we want to believe or make true.  For me it's my faith and the fact that God exists and that all the things I have come to know, experience, and love revolve around this one truth.  God loves me.  It's what enables me to face forward and believe that tomorrow will be better.  My mother is a really special woman.  She has given so much, sacrificed so much, loved so much, and has been such a role model for me.  The other day I come home to find a dough-like substance in a container on the dining room table.  I later find out that it's bread?

It's called "Hemin" bread.  It's the bread of Padre Pio and it comes from the Vatican.  It brings blessing to every family who eats it.  According to the instructions, on the 10th day you must give it to other good people. 
Padre Pio Prayer:
Beloved Padre Pio, today I come to add my prayer to the thousands of prayers offered to you everyday by those who love and venerate you.  They ask for cure and healing earthly and spiritual belssings, peace of body and mind.  And because of your friendship withthe lord he heals those you ask to be healed and forgives those you forgive. 
Throught your visible wounds that pierced your hands, feet and side we not ony remember the blood you shed in pain, but your smile and invisible halo of sweet smelling flowers that surround your presence, the perfume of sanctity. 
Padre Pio may the healing of the sick become the testimony that the Lord has invited you to join the holy company of the Saints.  In your kindness, please help me with my own special request (mention your petition, and make the sign of the cross).  Bless my loved ones and me.  In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, Amen.

So overall.. you get a piece of dough from someone that's been passed on and on and on.  You eat like 3/4ths of it?    I think it's supposed to be for healing purposes. 

Anywho, I just laughed a little at my mother who was seriously praying with this bread.  I didn't laugh at her because I think she's silly, but the idea that something like this sort of chain exists.  Supposedly from the Vatican? 

Anyways.. I got sidetracked..  And I'm not goin to delete this entry so far.

To be Genuine...  I don't have the energy to not be myself.  I dislike liars and fake people.  I think to be genuine is to be simplistic.  Not only to others but to myself.  I'd like to genuinely put my heart and soul into the things I love to do.  Life's no fun if everything is a chore.

To be Real...  Again.. what's the difference, you may ask.  True, Genuine, or Real.  I have no idea.
To be real is to live with purpose and learn to accept the facts, failures, and realities.  Afterall, suffering as "Padre Pio believed that the love of God was inseparable from suffering and that suffering all things for the sake of God was the way for the soul to reach God." 

I'm the One, the Only Korean Pearlz.  True, Genuine, & Real, like my name. 

So... I leave you with one more difficult question. 

What do you do on those days when everything seems hopeless.  You lay and ask.. what's the purpose of living?  Those days when tears of sadness just run from the windows of your empty soul like an eternal fountain?  I feel pain everyday in my life.  Physically, Mentally, and Spiritually.  I've also gotten so used to pain that sometimes I don't notice how bad it is.  Other days it's so unbearable that I freeze into a daze for days.  I can't seem to snap out of it.  Will I get better?  I hope so. 

That's all for now.