Friday night...nothing planned...no clubbing...thought I'd kick back and write a nice long blog...I've addressed the hell out of Hollywood's bias vs. Asian men. I've trashed enough Asian chicks who only go for white guys. I am now gonna call out Asian parents! The ones who live in north America and still wanna enforce their old-world Ming Dynasty-era mentality.
It's gonna be long, so I really don't expect ANYONE to read this in entirety.
At the age of 15, I had a huge crush on Janet Jackson. In fact, she was my very first childhood crush!
And, no, this was not some teeny-bopper crap because I STILL have a crush on her and STILL love her music (pre-Jermaine Dupri).
When her Montreal tourdate was announced, I really wanted to see it. However, lo and behold, I had the misfortune of being Asian.
I was denied access to see her perform.
It was not a question of a minimum age-requirement.
It was not a question of power-tripping security guards.
It was not a case of getting mugged for my tickets.
It was not a case of being abducted by aliens.
It was not a case of an all-night school detention.
It was not a case of the venue being owned by Vietnam-hating war-veterans.
no, no, no...
MY PARENTs were the culprit. And "why", you ask?
It was not a matter of tickets being sold out.
And, no, it was NOT a question about cost.
I had the money saved up.
These people, despite being "older and wiser" deemed that a Janet Jackson concert was a hangout for drug-dealers, bikers, hoodlums, and kidnappers.
Obviously, they've been watching way too many Jason/Michael Myers movies. Concert venues (especially the legendary Montreal Forum, at the time) have security.
And even if someone tries to grab a kid, at a concert, where can they possibly take him? To the dressing room? or the concession stands?
They knew that I really wanted to go, therefore, they told me that I could, providing that I needed to find someone to go with me.
I asked my uncles. one of them agreed, but I'd have to pay for his ticket. This didn't work out since I had no money (and they knew that) and they were also not willing to spot me an extra 34$ for his ticket.
From there on, it was one obstacle after another. Each time I resolved one issue, they'd throw another out.
After that, I found a friend from school. He was willing to go, only we'd have to take the metro/bus. My mom insisted that he must get one of his parents to drive us, since we can get "kidnapped on the bus". Yeah, I know...
My friend's family had no car, so I had to look elsewhere. And no, my parents were not willing to drive us.
I found, yet, another friend to go with me. Only thing is that he didn't have the cash at the time, but would pay me back. He had the permission from his parents, but they were not home at the time to give him the cash. As soon as they were to return hime, he would have it.
This was pretty much the last day to get tickets, because it was almost already sold out. So, the ideal way to do it was for me to get the tickets and go over to his place to pick up the cash.
Guess who was against that idea? Yeah. My mom renegged on that one too, saying "oh, what if he changes his mind?".
Needless to say, I was furious and was in tears, on the day of the show. They didn't seem to mind as "oh at least you're safe at home...wait til she comes on TV". WTF?@?@
Where am I going with all this?
I know that a lot of you on AA are parents. And chances are, you too were brought up in this sheltered fashion.
Let me just say this...this is NO way to raise a good kid. In fact, they were lucky that I was a better person, no thanks to them.
Parents, as much as you love you children and want them to be safe, DON'T EXAGERRATE!!!!
If this was a Black Sabbath or Guns'n'Roses concert, then they would for sure have a cause for concern. But Janet Jackson???
People, do your homework about the demographics that an artist attracts! That's like expecting bloods and crips to turn up at a Miley Cyrus concert!
And If you are truly concerned about the safety of a theatre, concert venue, or any given part of town, perhaps you should do your homework and scope the place out/ask around.
Don't be ignorant. Chances are that your kid already knows more than you do about these places. Passing judgement and exagerrating is only going anger them more than anything. In turn, they will grow up to resent you AND your culture.
And if your kid never asked anything else of you, why not offer to take him there yourself?
Listen, I love my parents. I really do. But I never asked them for anything until that day. I didn't ask for the latest/greatest nike shoes, big brand clothing, money to go to the mall...anything at all.
There was simply no reason why I was refused permission to go. And, back then, most of my friends (if they were big enough fans) would've gone anyway...permission or not.
The fact that I was obedient, to me, would've been more than enough a reason for me to say "look, let's give him a break, he's a good kid".
Not sure about other cultures, but in old-school Viet culture, I will tell you...there are no favors. Nobody asks you for any favors, therefore they do not like to do favors for others.
There is no "helping out your fellow man". And, pretty much, "elders are always right, even if they're wrong".
Note: the reason why a lot of Asian girls only date white guys isn't 100% Hollywood's fault. They don't wanna date people who resemble their parents' culture. FACT. And why do you get a lot of whitewashed kids, uninterested in the Asian ways? Yeah, cause their parents took it to extremes...I don't condone it, but it is what it is!
And if you want your kids to grow up as a rejected, introvert, with no social skills, no friends, no life experience, no street smarts, and be completeley clueless by the time it's time for him to make his own moves in life...then, yeah, that's the way to go!
But don't be surprised if he winds up on the evening news for committing some kind of a crime.
Oh yeah...get this!!!
I once wanted to go X-mas shopping on a friday night. I was 18 at that time. My mom refused to let me go because "it's too dark outside".
HOLY F-CK!!! Ther are all kinds of lights, including X-mas lights downtown! This isn't Dracula! And kidnappers don't jump out of the shadows!
Yeah, I coulda told her to "screw off", but I was still obedient at that time...sadly, I didn't learn to stand up for myself sooner.
The turning point was in 1995, when I first got hold of a "50 hours free" AOL dialup cd. I was just getting my feet wet, with the internet, so obviously, I spent a lot of time exploring the web.
This was huge! They learned, no clue from where, that the internet itself was a scam. I tried my damned best to explain to them how it worked, what it was, and why it was not a scam. The wouldn't hear of it...sure, don't listen to someone who actually knows what it is!
I even showed them a site to look up their stocks quotes...they simply argued that "I can get this news on TV". They even went as far as threateningto kick me out of the house for using the internet...I kid you not. I still bring this up often.
Eventually, my uncle started talking to them about it...telling them exactly the same thing I tried to...they bought in and started using it themselves...
So...um...you almost lost your child, by kicking him out of the house...and now you wanna use the internet???
Again, parents...if you don't know what it is...LEARN ABOUT IT. Strip yourselves of yuor pride and be open to the fact that your kid is possibly more knowledgeable than you, in certain areas!
Alrighty...I wrote enough...Most of you AA people are young. Thought I'd stick up for you, since nobody was able to do that for me, when I was your age!
Once in a while, it even comes back...5 years ago, they tried to stop me from travelling, with my friends, to Toronto (of all places) for the same reasons...yet my mom has since gone to visit Viet-Nam, along with my aunts.
Who would be more of a target for muggers/kidnappers? A trio of 60 year old/out-of-shape women with money/pension funds? Or 4 young guys who don't have much saved up and are more than likely to put up some kind of a fight? After presenting them this argument...they backed off...although it still bothered them.